Starrliightenment: Archive

OMG y'all people are comin for my ass for...

Jan 14th

21,025 notes

Jan 14th

I really have to pee and my head hurts so badly...

Jan 14th

Who the fuck would have a crush on me.

1dopehoneybee: erinsaywhat: dead ass. awww all these notes though :-/ I have a crush on all of you. MUAH

Jan 13th

74,520 notes

Jan 13th

Watch

0hitskiui: dearchelseaaa: koriroars: 24-month-old Deaf Child Having A Conversation This is precious. This prompts me to learn sign language faster .

Jan 13th

35,075 notes

Jan 13th

18,086 notes

Jan 13th

1,822 notes

Jan 13th

177 notes

Jan 13th

5,155 notes

Jan 13th

360 notes

Jan 13th

275 notes

Jan 8th

97 notes

I speak three languages fluently: →

theannoyingskwid: Smartass, Sarcasm, and Profanity. Follow the FUNNIEST blog in Bikini Bottom

Jan 8th

87,844 notes

Jan 8th

1,610 notes

Jan 8th

239 notes

Jan 8th

15,234 notes

Jan 8th

129,429 notes

About to watch Harlem Nights, eat 2 hot pockets...

Jan 8th

Excuse me for not caring; I left all my fucks in...

Jan 8th

83,785 notes

Jan 7th

10,006 notes

For the record; the NDAA has been law for 49...

Jan 7th

57 notes

Watch

tanishathegreat: Is the Grandma thing becoming a trend now??? Well….she was doing her thing anyway

Jan 7th

8,334 notes

my marriage (if i get married)

me: hey darlin welcome home
husband: *kiss* hey baby how are you to-
me: take off your pants
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husband: hey i just ordered some chinese food
me: how long did they say it would take?
husband: about 30 mins
me: get naked
husband: but i thought we were gonna-
me: naked. now
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husband: i'm bored
me: lay down.now
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me: i love you so much
husband: i love you too...it's a beautiful saturday morning and i don't have to work today. We should go to the park and-
me: get in the bed
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husband: there is this great new bookstore around the corner wanna go?
me: nope.sex
husband: but they have that book you wanted and i was-
me: sex
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me: i had a crappy day at work today
husband: want me to make you some tea?
me: i want you naked. i'm angry
husband: what about a back rub?
me: naked...drop your pants
husband: you mean you don't want to talk about it? really?!
me: drop your pants and put ya dick in my mouth...this is not a fucking game.

Jan 7th

14,876 notes

Jan 7th

8,052 notes

When your parents ask you to act like a normal...

laughingstation: Funny blog to follow!! Click this!

Jan 7th

146,153 notes

Jan 7th

961 notes

Imagine Albus Severus coming out to Harry:

Albus: Dad, I’m…gay.
Harry: Albus Severus Potter. You were named after two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was gay and he was the wisest man I’ve ever known.
Albus: Dad, you say this every time I tell you something. Stop. Just stop.
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Albus: Dad, would you mind buying some conditioner? I think we’re out.
Harry: Albus Severus Potter. You were named for two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them never used conditioner and he was probably the greasiest man I ever knew.
Albus: Dad, this response is really getting old.
Harry: TWO HEADMASTERS.
Albus: Yes, I get it, two hea—
Harry: BRAVEST AND WISEST MEN.
Albus: Da—
Harry: THAT I EVER KNEW, BRAVEST AND WISEST, TWO OF THEM.

Jan 6th

52,818 notes

Jan 6th

3,804 notes

Jan 6th

1,467 notes

Watch

whatawaytobeginitall: l00katmestabbingy0u: ask—-wheatley: luseylottay: blainesnuderection: episkeytheheart: xxteambreezyxx: gabbiilove: Why homosexuality should be banned. THE SARCASM IN THIS IS AMAZING Watch this. It’s not what you think, lol. FUCKING asdgldsajgjasdgds WIN Will never not reblog. <3 YOU WIN THE INTERNET. omg you sir, just made my whole fucking day ...

Jan 6th

66,680 notes

Jan 6th

32,169 notes

Jan 6th

22,557 notes

Watch

WANT

Jan 6th

35,645 notes

LMFAO yo...Marf's blog right now...Her ask box is...

Jan 5th

3,683 notes

This damn fool...there isnt even any beef. You're...

Jan 5th

It's Kingsley Bitches: Shorty Awards →

kingsleyyy: The Shorty Awards have started. They do it every year and some people get really into it. I made it to the finals the second year. BOOM. You can vote for me here http://shortyawards.com/kingsleyyy I try to follow some of those who vote when I’m online because most of the explanations crack me up… Go vote for my fucking husband you whores.

Jan 5th

182 notes